The recipe for Chocolate Walnut Fudge Scones, that is.

Here it is.  Exactly as I did it.

* First rule of baking with toddlers-send toddler out with Sweet Hubby, drink a glass of wine, assemble all ingredients ahead of time, drink a glass of wine, then throw all ingredients into a fan at one end of the kitchen.  This saves you the time it takes waiting for the toddler to accomplish the same thing.  Drink a glass of wine.  Now you may begin to reassemble your ingredients, bathe the cats, drink a glass of wine, and try to make something edible.

For Scones

What:

2 cups of all purpose flour-not five roses.  It doesn’t rise for some odd reason.
1/2 cup cocoa powder (I treated myself and used Lindt-available at gourmet shops)
1/4 cup packed brown sugar
2 1/2 teaspoon baking powder (*hint-don’t use last year’s)
1/2 tsp EACH baking soda and salt
1/2 cup cold butter, cubed
1 cup buttermilk
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla
1/4 cup chopped toasted walnuts (I used a *bit* more)

Fudge Icing

1 cup icing sugar
2tbsp cocoa powder
1tsp vanilla
2 tbsp of milk, approximately. Add a teaspoon or so more if you need to to make it spreadable. 
*hint-For body paint, triple the milk. (Stop licking the spoon!)

How:

Now mix all your dry ingredients together, and use a pastry cutter to cut in butter until it looks like coarse crumbs.  You CAN use two sharp knives, but you’ll be there all day, and frankly, I have better things to do.  Now, in a separate bowl, mix all your wet ingredients together.  Pour wet stuff into dry stuff all at once.  Sprinkle your walnuts over the top, then mix with a fork or spoon to form a sticky, soft dough.  Make sure you have a VERY well floured surface, and well floured hands.  Turn dough out onto floured surface and knead 6-10 times.  Now here’s where the actual recipe said something about patting it neatly into a 7X10″ rectangle, and cutting with a greased knife to make perfect triangles.  I couldn’t be arsed.  I used a tall glass, rolled in flour, as a rolling pin, rolled it out to about 1/2 ” thick, then rimmed the glass with flour and used it as a cookie cutter to make about 30 nice, round scones. 

Line a baking sheet with parchment.  If your oven is pants like mine, use an air-filled baking sheet that makes it harder for the oven to incinerate your scones while you’re washing dishes.  Bake at 400 for 18-20 min, or until they start to smell good.  If you smell smoke, you either forgot to trim the edges of your parchment, or you’ve left them in too long.  If you smell potroast, your oven needs cleaning. Badly. If you smell oranges, or burning toast, seek help immediately.  Remove to cooling racks.  Let stand until *mostly* cool.  Then ice.  (If you can’t figure out how to make icing from four ingredients, you have bigger problems than my lack of direction) The residual heat should melt the icing just a bit, making a nice, shiny glaze on the top.

Now try not to eat them all before anyone gets to witness your culinary prowess!