This video Has been making the viral rounds this week.  Unless you live under a rock, you’ve seen someone repost it with comments like ‘this made me cry’ or ‘this is me’ and ‘every woman needs to see this!’  Well played, Dove.  You’ve got your own customers doing your advertising for you.

I HATE this video.  It makes me angry.   And no, it’s not sour grapes.  Ok, I’m 40 something, vaguely Hobbit-y in appearance, have hair that always looks like it was styled with a lawnmower, and a butt that makes it feel like there’s something chasing me all the time.  

I’m also Fucking Amazing.  

Dove seems to be telling women that they’re prettier than they think they are, which on the surface sounds alright. Except that this video also reinforces the idea that we MUST BE BEAUTIFUL.  Once again women are being led to connect their whole human value not with their intelligence, strength, kindness or achievement…just their beauty.

And before we applaud Dove too loudly for sending such a woman positive message, don’t forget that these are the same people who make Axe body spray, and the vapid ads that go along with it.  This is nothing more than clever branding to make us do their work for them.

It makes me crazy that so many of amazing women sharing this drivel equate their own worth with someone else’s perception, no, not even that, THEIR perception of someone else’s perception of their attractiveness. We all talk about how attitudes towards women need to change. How we need to be defined by more than our attractiveness, and the perception of our ‘fuckability.  

And then we fall for this garbage.  

We need to start by changing our OWN attitudes first. I don’t need Dove to tell me I’m wonderful. I live me. If I don’t think I’m amazing, why should anybody else?  The truth is, Dove doesn’t want me to feel like I’m perfect the way I am.  Women who feel perfect don’t need to buy beauty products.  There is an entire industry dedicated to nothing but making us feel inadequate.  To making us feel like we need to change what we are.  WHATEVER we are.  And we fall for it over and over and over.  Nobody, not our co-workers, families, the media, has any power to make us feel inadequate that we haven’t given them.  Same goes for guys, but women in particular are raised to connect their entire sense of self worth with their appearance. We waste our lives wishing we were taller, thinner, blonder, younger, and it colours every interaction we have.  

Fuck it. I’m awesome.